green day

I gotta say...I never quite understood St. Patrick's Day. Now, that MIGHT be because I don't drink. I'm not sure. I will tell you, the people I know who enjoy drinking DON'T need a reason to go to the bar. They'll just go.

So...what good has come from St. Paddy's Day? Leprechauns and Fairies!!!!!

It seems they come out to play on St. Patrick's Day. And they don't throw rocks at you like freaky gnomes in South America.

Nope. Leprechauns just like to goof off and dance. They also like going on hikes. They all have this shela...shalele...shileli...stick to help them with their hiking. They'll hike to the top of a mountain and then start to dance when, magically, a group of women start playing fiddles around him. It's really a rare and amazing sight.

If you try to take a picture, it comes out looking like a rainbow. Seriously! That's how the fairy magic-stuff works! The fairies hang out to make sure there is no actual footage. They throw their fairy dust (not Prairie Dust like at Longhorn's) all around to keep the secret.

So, if you bump into a leprechaun today, tell him to have a wonderful hike. If you see some fairies, ask them to toss a little fairy dust on you. They love doing that. It actually doesn't do much to humans. Fairy dust just screws up electronic equipment. So, whenever the TV or radio or computer breaks, it's probably because a fairy came by and dropped some dust on it.

Don't get mad! It's not like they knew this thousands of years ago when they invented fairy dust! They most high-tech equipment they had was the rock! Sheesh. Give them a break.

It's not known by many, but they DID try to change the fairy dust formula in the early 80's. People's 8-tracks and ataris were getting screwed up, so the fairies tried to switch things up. It was about as successful as New Coke. So...they went back to the original formula. Thank goodness they did! Do you remember the styles and hair???? That was because of screwed up fairy dust! Good thing that's over!

And good thing this post is over!

I'm off to dance with the fairies!

Enjoy!

-Lopez