Monday, December 31, 2007

the eve of the new year

Well, thank goodness for our organization of time. Without it, things would just be a mess. It seems to work out fairly well. Time hasn't stopped yet...so I guess it's working...right?

It is time to celebrate the new year! Well...that is if use the calendar that says that it is going to be 2008 tomorrow. I know the Chinese new year is a little ways away and if you're Jewish, it already happened. But for everybody else, it's time to par-tay! Well...that is if you're not boring like me.

Yeah, I'll probably go to bed by 10pm tonight. Oh well.

What do you do on New Year's Eve? I used to have a tradition when I was younger. Do you remember "Snick" on Nickelodeon? It was short for Saturday Night Nick. They had shows like Roundhouse, Ren and Stimpy, and The Adventures of Pete and Pete. Well, every year they would show a marathon of Pete and Pete. I used to LOVE that show. I still have them all on tape. Yeah, on VHS. They would have a marathon until the New Year's Eve episode and then it was Midnight. I would open the door and go outside for a second and breathe in the cool air of the new year. Then I would go to bed.

Now, since there is no Pete and Pete, I just go to bed. Dang...I've gotten old!

I'd love to hear your traditions. Even if you don't do them anymore. Maybe I will watch some Pete and Pete episodes tonight...just for fun. I'll probably fall asleep on the couch, but whatever, I don't have to work tomorrow!

Yay!

I'm off to go get my noisemakers and party hats ready.

Enjoy!

-Lopez

Friday, December 28, 2007

wrenches and malls

Ok, so this is the last time I'm going to report about my vacation and holiday. I think...

I have an Uncle who always gets something for everybody. It's usually something unusual. Actually, it's always something unusual. This year I got Wrenchware. What is wrenchware? It is silverware with wrenching uses.

Ok...think of a fork...with a wrench on the handle. That is wrenchware. At first you might think this is silly, but it's not. How often have you needed to tighten a bolt when eating dinner? Very often! I know, it happens all the time!

Me: Yummy...this meal, which I am eating with a fork, is fantastic!

Sink: Clunk! Clink! Clurunk!

Me: Hot Diggity! The sink is angry about something!

Sink: Grunk!

Me: I bet it needs a bolt tightening...but I don't want to stop eating dinner...what should I do?

Sink: Krkrkrkrk!

Me: Wait! I know! I have a wrench on my fork! I don't have to stop eating! I can fix and eat at the same time!

(munching and bolt tightening sound effex ensue)

Me: Perfect. Both the dinner and the sink.

Sink: Ahhhh...much better. Thank you.

I'm sure you can understand now.

Do you ever get odd gifts? It could be Christmas or your birthday or whatever you want. What is it?


I'm also curious about your holiday traditions. I have one where I play Mall Madness with my cousins. I don't know how it started...or why it continues, but I play on and rock it out. I can find sales like you wouldn't believe. It's a bit odd, but it's fun.

Do you have any traditions that seem a little different?

I think that's all I have today. It was a long post, but I didn't post for a week before I got back, so I'm just making up for it.

I have to go practice my Mall Madness.

Enjoy!

-Lopez

Thursday, December 27, 2007

Unicorn Park

Hi folks. Over vacation I was lucky enough to find the secret entrance to Unicorn Park. When the conditions are absolutely perfect, you can take a wrong exit off of 93 in Woburn, MA and end up in Unicorn Park.

Unfortunately, we got there as the mist was falling and hiding the magical land of Unicorn Park.

It's actually a real place. I'm not sure what they have there, but I would imagine that it's a park designed for unicorn toddlers to play. You know, special slides and swings that can accommodate unicorn shapes and horns.

I think they have trees made of candy and they grow back very quickly so you can always eat them. Even the grass is candy.

There are always rainbows in unicorn park. AND in the winter, when the snow is falling, there are snowbows. Unicorns love snowbows.

I did not get to see any unicorns, but hopefully someday, I can take a wrong exit again and play at unicorn park.

I promise that tomorrow I won't talk about unicorns or rainbows. It's getting a little too crazy here.

I'm off to get lost in Woburn.

Enjoy!

-Lopez

Wednesday, December 26, 2007

post-vacation post

Hi there! I'm back from vacation and I have a LOT to tell. I think I'm going to do a little at a time so I don't overwhelm you with awesome news. I've seen reports of people getting too much awesomeness and then needing medical attention from awesome overdose.

I care so much about you that I won't let that happen. I think there was a commercial once about that. It was some sort of alert thing you wore. This old lady fell over and pressed the button and said, "I've gotten too much awesome and I can't get up!" and then the hospital sent somebody over to fix her. It was very scary.

Today we'll talk about Nature. It's a show on PBS. Well, with the writer's strike, I gotta watch something! It's actually this really cool show and they had "Christmas in Yellowstone" on the other day. It had otters and foxes and animals doing stuff in the snow.

There was also a rainbow that seemed to be made of snow. I'm going to call it a "snowbow". It looked like a "bow" in the sky that was mostly pale and white. It was made of snow, but had an arch like a rainbow. Has anybody else ever seen this? It was pretty darn cool.

I did a look online, but couldn't find anything. I saw one website that said frozen water doesn't make rainbows, but they did not say if frozen water could make a snowbow. I think it can. I saw it. Would I lie? Nope, I would not!

That is all I have for today, and if you don't think a blog about a "snowbow" is good enough, then tomorrow be here for more unicorn talk. I know, it's a 4-year-old girl is writing this blog. Maybe I'm just paying Dina's daughter to do this so I don't have to. hmmmm....

I'm off to get some cash out...child labor isn't cheap!

Enjoy!

-Lopez

Wednesday, December 19, 2007

winter solstice celebration

Happy Winter Celebration!

Is that too P.C. for you? Sorry. I like it better that way. When you say Happy Winter Celebration, it almost sounds like the WHOLE winter is a celebration. That would be way awesomer.

I say this now because I will not be at work again until Dec. 26. That's right, I have a few days of vacation left that I have to take because if I don't use them, they disappear. Let's use this idea for a couplet:

Those are my vacation days, and I will lose them
If, for one moment, I hesitate to use them.

Wasn't that fun?

Anyways, I will be celebrating underneath my silver tree. Yep, it's a very rare tree that is hard to find. I think its botanical name is Pine Silverado.

I had to go to the Silver Forest in Rainbow Land and cut down a silver pine. The forest is a little scary with all the griffins, but as long as you treat them with respect, they're cool. I said the magic words, "Emoc Htiw Em Revlis Eert Dna I Lliw Ekat Erac Fo Eeht" and then I had my silver tree!

It was fun day in Rainbow Land. It's hard to get to because you can only go there when there is a rainbow in the sky, and when you leave, you don't know where you'll end up. You leave wherever the rainbow is at that time. I got out in Hoboken...holding a silver tree. It looked a little weird, but I got home safely.

Ok, that's enough story for one day. I'll talk to everybody again next week! I hope you enjoy whatever you celebrate: Christmas, Boxing Day, Kwanzaa, or any other variation/combination.

And I leave you with Happy Winter Celebration!

I have to go find a rainbow...they have a FANTASTIC candy store in Rainbow Land...I need another fix...

Enjoy!

-Lopez

Tuesday, December 18, 2007

every town in mass

My friends Bobb and Laura are doing something fun! They are going to go to every town and city in Mass and get their picture in front of the "welcome" sign. I decided to give them a little promotion because I think it's a grand idea.

This is their website:

http://massachusetts351.blogspot.com/


That is all today.

I'm off to visit the 3 cities I'm allowed to go in.

Enjoy!

-Lopez

Monday, December 17, 2007

I boogie down like a unicorn...

That's a line from the rock song in Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire. I watched it again this weekend and heard that line during their dance. What a great line.

I do believe that I can actually boogie down like a unicorn. Have you ever seen a unicorn boogie down? It's pretty darn good. Think break dancing meets salsa. That's how they boogie down.

They can also spin on their horn. I'm serious. How rad is that? There are only a few unicorns out there who can do it, but it's brilliant!

I love unicorns. Some people think unicorns are wussy, but they are totally hardcore.

Think about it this way: If a horse is running headfirst at you and rams you, it's going to hurt. A lot! BUT you'll probably walk away with some broken ribs or something, right?

If a unicorn is running at you headfirst and rams you, you're gone! The End! Not so tough now, are you Mr. Horse! Unicorn took you out!

I mean, they're born with a weapon right on their noggin! Good stuff.

I really have to stop talking about unicorns.

I'm off to boogie down.

Enjoy!

-Lopez

Friday, December 14, 2007

lazy poster boy

As in blog posting.

Sorry this week was so sparse with the blogging. It was truly a hectic week. As you may have heard, we lost power on Tuesday. I know some folks heard...or didn't hear because there was no radio for a while. Sorry! A hefty bird landed on the large "on" switch we have for our station. We couldn't figure out what happened until somebody found the door. It's really dark in the station when we lose power. It's a good thing Dina had her menorah set up for the last day of Hanukkah. Since it was on Tuesday, 7 candles were lit.

Then, on Wednesday (which I pronounce Wed-Nes-Day) I had to go fight the parking ticket I had. I got on my knees and pleaded with the court to let my ticket go. They let it go.

Actually, my very-prepared and intelligent friend came with me and brought along proof that I was actually at City Stage on the day in question and that I mailed them a ticket stub to validate my parking. They believed those rational reasons and let me go.

These are the reasons I didn't post all week!

Today? Well, it's late because I was supposed to be somewhere, but then I didn't have to be, so I decided to make up my horrible blogging badness by actually writing something.

Please forgive me. I beg you to let this minor mishap go! I plead to you like I plead to the Springfield Parking Authority (who I love dearly).

Ok, I'm done. I'm out like a bellybutton.

Enjoy!

-Lopez

Thursday, December 13, 2007

snow days

Ok, so why is it that people think food will run out when snow is coming?

I have to go to the store to get some bread today. That's it. I have one end left.

When there is snow, it seems that everybody HAS to buy supplies just in case they are trapped in their home for a few months. People who would shop on Friday and Saturday will do it today.

Hmmm...It's going to be done by tomorrow!!!!!! You can pick up stuff tomorrow!!!!!

I just don't get it. I would understand if the weather said there would be snow and horrible weather for days, but it's going to be partly cloudy and 41 tomorrow. That sounds like great shopping weather.

I don't know what else to say about it. I'm just afraid of going shopping today. Maybe I'll go without food tonight and wait until tomorrow. Everybody should be done by then.

I'm off to toast the butt of the bread.

Enjoy!

-Lopez

Friday, December 7, 2007

beep boop whistle bip

That's R2D2 talking. He says, "This is Awesome!"

How do I know that? This website:

http://www.r2d2translator.com/

You can type anything in and R2 will say it to you. Isn't that the best idea? I love it.

I'm sure I'd have more to say, but I'm having too much fun listening to R2.

whistle beep bop doot

Enjoy!

-Lopez

Thursday, December 6, 2007

I fell down.

I got out of my car the other night and slipped on the ice. It was sweet! I have a few cuts on my hands now. It's cool, though, because it looks like I got into a fight. People probably wouldn't believe that I got into a REAL fight, so I'll just tell them I fought a really tough pony. I won't look very tough, but it'll sound tougher than saying I slipped on the ice. So here it is:

I was walking in the bad section of the stables when a pony just came out of nowhere! She was looking for trouble, that I could tell. I tried to walk away because I didn't want to cause a ruckus, but she wouldn't let up. She swatted her tail at me, so I fought back. She used her hooves to whack me around. I flailed my arms the best I could, but sadly she knocked me down and stole the cube of salt that I had on me. Now I just have a few cuts and scars to remember the incident. I don't know if I'll ever be able to play with a My Little Pony toy ever again. I really need some therapy.

I have to go put some fresh Care Bear sterile adhesives on.

Enjoy!

-Lopez

Wednesday, December 5, 2007

miercoles salvajes

How fun is that phrase! I love it. It was on a flyer for Domino's pizza.

I like other phrases too. (segue) I was reading a box yesterday that made me laugh. Yeah, I read boxes for fun. I can't afford books, so I look for boxes on the side of the road and read them. Such is my exciting life.

Anyways, I was reading the box and it said, "Do Not Open With Sharp Instrument". That must be HILARIOUS to musicians. Can you imagine how often a violinist reads that and says, "Uh oh! I better make sure my A String is in tune! Ha!".

You can also see everybody else around them not laughing. Unless it's at a music store, then it's probably funny every time they get a shipment in. The tuba player probably always blows his spit valve. Boy, those musicians can be a hoot. They find THAT stuff funny, but it's only place they take the phrase "I need a G String" seriously.

Gotta love'em.

Ed. note: Let me help si none of this makes sense to you. Guitars, violins, cellos and other stringed instruments us the A, B, C, G, D...etc. strings. If the note sounds wrong, it could be sharp or flat. There's your music lesson for today. NOW my blog entry is funny! Well...at least it makes sense.

I have to go tune my cello.

Enjoy!

-Lopez

Tuesday, December 4, 2007

happy hanukkah

It's Hanukkah tonight at sundown! Wooooo! Dina gets to light her menorah and eat a latke. It sounds almost like lighting the candles and eating a cake, but I'm pretty sure it's not a birthday party.

Dina says that I can get gold coins by spinning a dreidel. She is going to bring one in for me to play the "dreidel game". I hope I win a lot.

That's about it today! If you're Jewish, then enjoy the hanukkah. If you're not, eat some latke anyways. I've never had it, but I'm sure it's delicious. If they make it in gummy form, then I'm all over it.

Enjoy!

-Lopez

Friday, November 30, 2007

elf

If you haven't seen it, there is a sight where you can put your face on an elf.

www.elfyourself.com

Here's the link for ours!

http://www.elfyourself.com/?id=1118008323

Enjoy!

-Lopez

reading

It turns out that people read less. There was a study done and they put out a 99-page report to tell us that. Seriously? Why so long? Can I get the Cliffs Notes version?

It has inspired me to keep my blog postings shorter. I don't know how long that will last, but I shall try!

It said people don't read for pleasure. Who has the time for that? I barely have time to watch 5 hours of TV every day! Where can I find the time to read!

I do read a lot of comic books, but that's not for pleasure, that's an addiction. I swear they line the pages of comics with something because if I don't get the smell of "comic book" every few hours I'll go into shock.

I think it's also made me allergic to real books because when I try to read a novel I get a rash and have to use my epi-pen. hehe...epi-pens are fun.

You probably haven't even read this far because it's too long. Sorry!

I have to go get my fix.

Enjoy!

-Lopez

Thursday, November 29, 2007

kids are smart

We took calls about "the funniest thing that your kids did" today. We got a lot of very funny stories.

I like the story about the women whose daughter had the pacifier taped to her mouth. The reason her older kids did that? The baby kept spitting it out. Makes sense to me.

I don't think I did anything really funny when I was a kid. I was just as boring then as I am now. I do have an OLD picture of me in a diaper, cowboy boots and a pipe, but I think that's normal for kids to wear. I would wear that now if the occasion called for it, so it's not really that weird.

Did you or your kids do any thing really funny? Let me know. I'd love to hear the stories.

I have to go shine my cowboy boots.

Enjoy!

-Lopez

Wednesday, November 28, 2007

preschool

Wow! It's been a week since I posted something! I'm all messed up from having thanksgiving off. I hope everybody had a wonderful weekend and holiday.

This morning we talked about the state trying to decide whether the government should pay for preschool or if it should be the parents. Some say the government should help parents out, but then there are adults who don't have kids who don't want to pay for it.

I have the solution!

The kids make a LOT of stuff in school. Well, instead of the children making arts and crafts for their parents to enjoy, they make them for everybody to enjoy. These kids make all sorts of stuff that can be sold online! Make the kids work for their education. Makes sense, right? I thought so. I don't know why I didn't go into politics.

You should hear my views on universal health care and taxes. You would literally wet your pants because they are so good. I can't tell you what they are now because I might need the ideas to win a presidential election but I can tell you they BOTH involve an emu, duct tape and lilacs. Yeah...this will work perfectly.

I have to go round up some livestock.

Enjoy!

-Lopez

Wednesday, November 21, 2007

Turkey

Happy Thanksgiving!

That's all I'm going to write today. I know my last few posts have been REALLY long. This one is short.

I hope you have some time off and have lots of food!

Enjoy!

-Lopez

Tuesday, November 20, 2007

3.14159265358979323846

Ha! I mean pie! Math jokes are funny!

Whoooo! Ok, take a deep breath. Wow...that was funny. Phew!

Now that we're composed, let us talk about pie!

We read some survey this morning that said apple pie the number one pie. I am NOT a fan of apple pie. I like apples, just not in pie form. I don't know why. What pie do you love?

The reason why pies are great is because they are a healthier to eat than cake. I mean, most of them have fruit as a filling. You can't get much better than fruit! Heck, some pies even get gourds in them! Look at the ever-popular pumpkin pie. I don't like pumpkin pie either, but I know a lot of people who do. My brother does.

My favorite pies are cherry pie and lemon meringue pie. There are some blueberry pies that are good too. All of them have fruit! Look at me being healthy. It was genius to put a lot of sugar on fruit to make it taste better.

person 1: This fruit tastes healthy. How can we make fruit taste awesome?

person 2: I like sugar a lot. What if we added sugar to fruit? Maybe some goo-stuff to let it soak in?

person 1: oh. my. god. That's brilliant! We could do the same thing with gourds!

person 2: Gourds?!?!?! That's stupid.

person 1: You're right. That would never catch on.

Little did they know...

Go enjoy some pie on thanksgiving. Go enjoy some pie right now! Who cares if it's on thanksgiving or not!

I'm off to get my 5 servings of fruit. Gooey, yummy, sugary fruit...

Enjoy!

-Lopez

Monday, November 19, 2007

Caffeine: The Prequel

Well, since I have nothing else going on, I figured I would tell you all about my addiction to caffeine.

Many years ago in a bedroom far away, I had a little fridge. In that little fridge lived many cans of Coca Cola. In those cans lived one of my only friends in high school, caffeine. (the other friend was comic books)

I drank many cans of soda every day. I also ate a lot of bread. Why? I have no idea. It was good. Oh...don't forget skittles, too. I ate a lot of those. A LOT of those.

The years went by and I decided I drank too much soda and got too much caffeine, so I decided to stop. This was in college. I also never drank coffee. I just didn't like the taste.

Then many reports came out about coffee being good for you. People have better memory when they are older. There are antioxidants. They have flavanols. I don't know what flavanols are, but they sound wonderful.

They sound like something out of Willy Wonka, right?

WW: Here is a funtastic new item for you kids to try! They are called Flavanols and they make your taste buds fly!

Kids: Wow! They have so much Flava! I can't wait to enjoy more! Please let us have more of these flavanols before we head out the door!

Why did that rhyme? I don't know. It seemed like the thing to do.

Anyways, I thought adding a little caffeine into my life would improve my health and my bad mood. I don't know about the health, but it didn't do much for my mood. We're still working on that.

So NOW, I found a few different types of coffee that I can stand. Exciting!

Wow. This story was WAY less interesting than I thought it would be. I hope you had your coffee before reading it. I may have put you to sleep. What are you addicted to? What did you give up? Let me know!

I have to go wake up.

Enjoy!

-Lopez

Friday, November 16, 2007

I chipped a tooth!

Hi folks. Boy, did I have a fun day yesterday! I had to rush out of here for a funtastic time at the dentist. My dental people rock. They are all really nice to me.

I had a new person do my cleaning yesterday because my regular person was out for the day. I sat in a new room and it was cool. She has a maze on the ceiling so when you are relaxing in their fancy chairs, you can do something. Now, I think it's a great idea, BUT the maze is a little scary. It had scary clowns and creatures on it. It looked freaky. It is also ridiculously hard to finish a maze when somebody is picking at your teeth with a metal hook.

I did get x-rays and it turns out that I have a chip missing from my mouth. I have to go back to get it filled in. Must have been one of those many fights I get into. oh wait...the first rule of fight club is not to talk about fight club. Eh...who's gonna read this, right? In case you're curious, the second rule is that you have to bring a snack at every meeting. We prefer home-baked goods, but we'll allow you to buy stuff.

THEN! I got to see Wicked at the Bushnell in Hartford last night. It was RAD! A really good show. They are almost sold out, so if you want to go, you're going to have to get those tickets SOON.

FINALLY! I'm going to see Don't Drink The Water at East Longmeadow High School this weekend because one of the girls from my last play is in it. It should be a good time.

I've got a lot of stuff going on! I'm not usually this busy! I hope I don't crash because I still have to work all weekend too! I'll have to stock up on my Java Beans.

If you don't know, Java Beans are these great organic chocolate covered coffee beans. Maybe someday I'll tell you all about my caffeine addiction. I thought I should avoid it for a few years, then I realized that I probably should start it up again. That's all you'll get right now. It's a tease, I know, but I want all of my two readers to come back!

What if the jury pool was really a pool with water and stuff? I just thought of that because of my last post. I'd rather be in the jury hot tub. Yeah...bubbles...

sometimes it would be cool if I could finish a blog entry and have it make sense. This post does not follow a straight line and it's SO LONG!

Where is my mind?

Enjoy!

-Lopez

Wednesday, November 14, 2007

Jury Duty

I'm back from jury duty! I didn't have to come into work yesterday because I had to go judge people. The sad thing is that I didn't actually get to do anything.

I went to the courthouse at 7:30 and sat there until 1pm. That was it. All I did was read comic books all morning. That was actually pretty awesome. Maybe not exactly what you think of as a great day, but wouldn't you rather skip work for a day and do something you like? I bet you would!

I loaded up my purse/messenger bag with comics just in case I had to sit there all day. Lucky for me, my bag is HUGE and it was filled to the brim. I brought snacks and a sandwich and comic books. The x-ray guy probably thought I was supplying food and reading material for everybody getting called in!

What would you like to do if you could skip work for a day?

I'm off to be judgemental!

Enjoy!

-Lopez

Monday, November 12, 2007

Make a Wish!

I was wondering why they don't put candles on a wedding cake.

Wouldn't it be awesome if the bride and groom could blow out the candles and make a wish? How romantic is that?

Then, to make it even cooler, you could put a candle on every piece that goes out to the guests and THEY can make a wish too! Hopefully they will all be good wishes for the new couple.

You could also wish for a new car. Whatever, if they really are your friends, they'll be happy that you have a new car.

I think this idea is brilliant. Way better than throwing cake at each other. That will only be entertaining if you start a HUGE food fight. Now that's a wedding I could get into!

Out with traditional! In with awesome!

I'm off to make a wish.

Enjoy!

-Lopez

Friday, November 9, 2007

I would not advise that course of action, Michael.

Sounds like something Kitt from Knight Rider would say, doesn't it? I bring that up because we were talking about things we kept from our childhood and I kept my Cabbage Patch Kid. His name is Michael Knight. Yes, just like David Hasselhoff.

He generally sits in my apartment and rocks, but right now he's rehearsing at city stage for the play WE are in. That's right, he's in it too.

What's that I hear? Could it be the sound of a plug coming? YES! Wait...did you say shameless? You are absolutely right!

This is the last weekend of my play "The Heidi Chronicles". It's Friday and Saturday night at 8pm and Sunday at 3pm. It's at City Stage in downtown Springfield. Tickets are $18.

Everybody does a fantastic job. You should come see it just to watch the talent these actors have.

That is all for today. I have to go run my lines so I don't forget them tonight.

What character am I playing again...

Enjoy!

-Lopez

Thursday, November 8, 2007

Gruesome Grammatical Guiles!!!!

Do you dare go forward wary reader? The story below could frighten the faint of heart! Be wary, a perilous path lies ahead!

It's time for the Adventures of the Amazing Ampersand and the Courageous Comma! Can this terrific team escape from the clutches of the evil Grammar Grinder?!

Wow! That's scary! Anyways, I'm making this silly story up for a reason. I'm hoping some of the bosses don't read it because it could get me in trouble. Don't tell anyone, ok?

This is some behind the scenes stuff from the station. Have you seen that fancy new logo we have? It's on the website. It says "The Kellogg Krew with Chris, Dina, & Lopez". It's all purple and swirly and cool. It's our sweet new logo.

Well, there was a big hoopla about whether there should be a comma after Dina. Everybody was looking up stuff that said it could go either way. But, in a list, it is proper English to place the comma before the "and". What was confusing, I think, was that we used the ampersand (the & symbol) instead of the word "and". As far as I know, "&" is equal to "and".

Now, I'm not one to get grammar correct all the time. Really, you can ask my mom. She'll call me and tell me about the mistakes on this blog. Can you spot them all today? I see one already, but I don't care! HA! Does anybody care about grammar anymore! NO!

I'm kidding. Grammar rocks. I believe there should be a comma after Dina because otherwise it implies that "Dina & Lopez" is one thing. We are not. We are two VERY separate entities.

That's all for today. There is your grammar lesson. Fun! Go tell your friends & neighbors! They will appreciate, thank, & love you for the information.

I have to go run, jump, & play.

Enjoy!

-Lopez

Wednesday, November 7, 2007

toilet paper

You've been warned. That is the topic of today's discussion.

Why toilet paper? Well, I think there is a bit too much variety in the t.p. world. Extra soft, extra firm, extra lotion, extra thick, extra pillowy, etc...

There is a commercial with these bears that use toilet paper. Due to all sorts of lint that remains on the bear butt, they have to vacuum each other's butts. What?!?!?! Who does this? First of all, I don't think bears use toilet paper. I'm not sure, though.

What I can tell you is that bears do NOT like to get their butt vacuumed. Seriously, don't try it. I'm typing with one hand today because the commercial made it seem like they were all happy about it.

He took my vacuum too...the furry forknspooner...

Now, besides the whole bear issue, who has a problem with too much toilet paper lint? How did the folks at Charmin realize that people were having this issue? Did somebody send a letter? If they did, how did that person find out? These are things you have to wonder.

I'm sure I'm not the only one who asks about this stuff. I know you are all thinking it.

This commercial is also dangerous because it teaches children that bears are safe creatures that enjoy a vacuuming. Don't believe it, kids! It's too dangerous!

Ok, I have to redo my bandages.

Enjoy!

-Lopez

Monday, November 5, 2007

Hair: Not the musical

Sorry. I'm sure you'd love to hear me sing about hair, but not today.

There was some silly argument about hair this morning as to whether a couple should discuss a haircut to make sure both people are happy with it or if you can just get it cut.

Does it really matter? I mean, doesn't everybody know that in the future it will be all mushed together? Due to all the blending of DNA from folks all over the world, every human will have perfect, short brown hair. Much like my perfect, short brown hair. What can I say, I'm ahead of my time :)

Also! In the future, we will be able to ride flying unicorns to work every day. Don't believe me?????!!!! WELL, think about this, we combine DNA all the time these days. Seriously, geneticists barely even think about it anymore. It's like going out to get lunch.

G1: Hey, wanna combine a fish and light bulb?

G2: Sure...how about we go to White Hut after for a burgers?

G1: Dude...you read my mind. Wait a second...did you combine your DNA with that mind-reading alien we have?

G2: That's right I did.

G1: Dude...that is totally sweet.

G2: Totally.

See! The future is NOW! All they have to do is get a horse, a bird and a rhino and put the blender on high and presto, you have a unicorn!

Why would you want a unicorn? Uhhhh..Duh! Because they rock! Maybe, if you're lucky, I'll tell you why someday.

I'm off to ride the unicorn!

wait...that sounds...eh...whatever...

Enjoy!

-Lopez

Thursday, November 1, 2007

Lego is SO possessive!

Yesterday I made the mistake of saying something about Lego pieces and for some reason I thought that on the official Lego logo (ha, say that three times fast!) they had the word possessive. As in "Lego's". Why did I think that? I have no idea. I decided to check that out. Turns out I was WAY wrong. Thanks mom.

Talking about Lego pieces, I once had a friend who would go all out with his Lego construction. I'm one to talk, because I have no life, but some people may be worse than I am. Though, he would probably say that I had no life compared to him. I guess it depends on what you like to do.

Let me tell you about him. I won't use his name, but we'll call him Lamont. Lamont and his little brother would buy a bunch of Lego sets and make stuff. THEN they would go overboard and make new stuff.

Here's an exciting night at the Lamont home:

Lamont: Hey, little brother. Would you like to create an exact replica of the Van Steuben Castle in Germany with our new Lego sets?

Little Brother: Can we do it to scale????

Lamont: Heck yeah! Is there any other way!

Little Brother: Totally Sweet!!!!!!!!

I really shouldn't make fun. He was a smart kid and he's probably more successful than I am now. Maybe I just didn't have the drive to get such ambitious projects done. I should probably be jealous of him.

And, to further prove that I have no right to judge, I just got my shipment of comic books in. Oh yeah...that's what we call cool...in geekland.

Want to hear about something way neater?! This weekend is the start of the play I'm in. I would like to promote it. I act better than I build Lego sets. Well...I hope I do, because if you saw my Lego house, you would think I built it with my tongue.

It's The Heidi Chronicles. It's going on Nov. 2, 3, 4, 9, 10, 11. Fri. and Sat. night shows are at 8 and the Sunday shows are at 3. It's $18 a ticket. If you have any questions, you can email me or write to the blog. The only problem is that I don't know when I'll get the question because I don't have Internet at home. I should be able to check it this weekend, though. If you come to the show, I hope you enjoy it!

That is all for me today. I have to go read comics...ooooooh Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles...I wanna know what happens....

Enjoy!

-Lopez

Wednesday, October 31, 2007

haribo

kids and grown-ups love it so, the happy world of haribo!

That tells you how to pronounce haribo. It rhymes with so. For the longest time I thought it was hari-boo. Did I care? NO! Because all I wanted was the gummi candy inside! (I believe they spell it gummi, though I would have thought gummy. I don't know)

Haribo makes some of the best gummi bears, but they've moved to the top of my list because they have this thing called "Happy Cola". Already they're awesome. Just look at the name. Still not sure????? Try this scenerio:

Clerk: Howdy customer. What can I get you?

You: Well...what do you have?

Clerk: We have boring candy bars, sad malted balls, lame assorted beans of jelly AND HAPPY COLA!

You: Happy Cola! Oh yeah! I'll take me a slice of Happy Cola!

Clerk: Everybody always does...(clerk smiles and looks at the camera as the lights fade).

Now, do you understand why calling something Happy Cola is awesome? They should sell vegetables that way. Wouldn't you buy more corn if it was called "Happy Corn"? How about "Smiley Broccoli?" Or "Super Fun Carrots"? Yeah...they sound good now, don't they?

Also, Haribo has these things called Brixx. I don't know how to describe them, but they are addictive. Imagine playing with Lego's and then deciding to eat them. I'm sure we all did that, but now we can eat them and they're not plastic! That's why Brixx Roxx. hehehe

One thing I found on their website that I have yet to try is "Fizzy Cola". It's Happy Cola, but fizzy! Talk about making a great thing awesomer!

Ok, that's about all I can talk about right now. I would love to hear about your favorite Halloween candy or what you gave out this year. Or what you're stealing from your kids!

I'm off to go get another sugar fix.

Enjoy!

-Lopez

the song/poem

here is the impromptu song I sang with madman Dan on the piano at my play rehearsal this weekend. Somebody posted it on the old blog and somebody else wanted it on this blog. So here it is!!!!!

Logan, you make me happy when we cuddle and watch NBC.
Logan, I'm so happy in our little cottage by the sea....

There is actually a lot more to it, but I don't remember it and as I recall it's not appropriate to repeat some of the phrases.

I'll be talking about candy in a few hours!

Enjoy!

-Lopez

Tuesday, October 30, 2007

our little cottage by the sea

Hi everybody!

Somebody posted on the "old" blog a little poem for me. It's funny because it was done by somebody from my play. One of the talented performers in the play, Dan, was playing piano and I started singing this silly song about cuddling and having a cottage by the sea. It was very weird, but it's fun to make up songs!

I'm sure you've done that, right? I do it all the time.

Somebody also asked about candy. I may talk about candy tomorrow, but I don't know. I mean, who wants to talk about candy all the time? It's not like people eat a lot of candy and could talk about it forever, right?

HA!!!! Got Ya! Of course I'm going to talk about candy! Of course everybody wants to talk about candy! You wouldn't be human if you didn't. I have to remember to tell you about all the fun candy from Haribo tomorrow. They might be my favorite candy company now. I'll tell you why tomorrow.

I wish I could give out candy on Halloween, but sadly, nobody comes to apt. buildings to trick or treat. I think it's fun to see all the kids costumes and I would like to scare the kids too. If you can't scar children mentally, what are you supposed to do with them? Are you supposed to let them grow up well-adjusted? BORING!!!!

I'm off to counseling.

Enjoy!

-Lopez

Monday, October 29, 2007

halloween ball

Hi again. I was just so excited that I decided to post twice today.

Thanks to everyone who came to the ball on Saturday night! It was a lot of fun. Some great costumes. I hope everybody enjoyed Orange Crush and all the other great stuff going on. I had a lot of stuff to do, so sadly I did not get to sing karaoke. Oh well. Hopefully during the valentine's day ball. It'll be easier to sing in a dress suit rather than a superman suit.

If you didn't know, the muscles on my superman suit were fake. I know, you thought that was some real chest action. Sorry ladies, those pecs weren't mine! The funny thing is, the neck part of the suit was REALLY tight. It was choking me a little. That made the night a little uncomfortable.

That will be all for today. I promise! I'd love to hear about your costumes. What are going to be on Halloween? Are you dressing up when your kids go trick or treating? Did you go to a party this past weekend? What were you? Was the costume choking you? Tell me all about it!

Enjoy!

-Lopez

The new blog

Hi folks! I don't have to say that it's me anymore because it will always be me!

I made sure each one of us from the show has our own blog because I wanted to give you all variety.

I just want this blog to be fun and silly. Anybody can post, but if the posts start getting mean to other posters, I may start deleting them. I don't want to, so let's all be nice! You can make fun of me all you want, that's cool.

I hope you all like the new blogs!

Enjoy!

-Lopez