You've been warned. That is the topic of today's discussion.
Why toilet paper? Well, I think there is a bit too much variety in the t.p. world. Extra soft, extra firm, extra lotion, extra thick, extra pillowy, etc...
There is a commercial with these bears that use toilet paper. Due to all sorts of lint that remains on the bear butt, they have to vacuum each other's butts. What?!?!?! Who does this? First of all, I don't think bears use toilet paper. I'm not sure, though.
What I can tell you is that bears do NOT like to get their butt vacuumed. Seriously, don't try it. I'm typing with one hand today because the commercial made it seem like they were all happy about it.
He took my vacuum too...the furry forknspooner...
Now, besides the whole bear issue, who has a problem with too much toilet paper lint? How did the folks at Charmin realize that people were having this issue? Did somebody send a letter? If they did, how did that person find out? These are things you have to wonder.
I'm sure I'm not the only one who asks about this stuff. I know you are all thinking it.
This commercial is also dangerous because it teaches children that bears are safe creatures that enjoy a vacuuming. Don't believe it, kids! It's too dangerous!
Ok, I have to redo my bandages.
Enjoy!
-Lopez
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9 comments:
This has nothing to do with toilet paper, but you were great in the play! Everyone should go to see it.
a patron of the arts
Lopez-
I agree-bears are large and scary and only good for one thing, predicting Red Sox World Series victories! Tim swears that when the black bear sitting in the middle of the road stopped our car, it also told him the Sox would win. The bear did not have toilet paper or a vacuum!
Break a leg again this weekend,
Zan
now lopez is their a correct way to hang your tp. I mean do you
pull from the top or do you pull
from the bottom. Just wondering.
Civilized cultures go for the bidet. Takes care of that whole lint issue entirely.
first, I guess I should thank my family for saying nice things about my play. I know you're the only ones saying it :)
ALSO, without access to a bidet, which I will own someday when I am rich, you always put the roll so you pull underneath. Over the top? Who does that? What is this, the dark ages?
Stephen Colbert's #1 threatdown is BEARS!
arghh! If only I knew the dangers of bears. Where was colbert when I needed him!
When I worked as a housekeeper at a rather nice hotel, we always put the toilet paper in so that the paper came over the top of the roll, which we then folded into a neat design. Pulling from the top allows better control of measuring the amount of tissue that you need, in my opinion.
I feel that toilet paper with variety is neccessary. I mean, there is nothing worse than sandpaper on the pooper, trust me. Plus, what if you are to blow your nose? I want the softness of a baby, and when a baby is not around for me to blow my snots onto, I reach for the closest soft paper product that is readily available, and often this is toilet paper despite your want of Puffs (TM).
In conclusion, when a baby is not around, use soft toilet paper.
-You know who by now...
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